EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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