And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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