some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
