I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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