MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
i drank out of a bidet.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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