Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
