After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
