..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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