i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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