his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
