you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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