I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Randomize
