My friends, they love my intelligence
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
