he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
