Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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