Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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