you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
