he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
