There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
barbara walters just said penis...
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
