Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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