And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
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