You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
