yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize