I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
