yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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