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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  fuckk wrong person

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  .. who was that for? a girlscout?

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• (949): View more from California

  I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"

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• (817): View more from Texas

  I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.

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  17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (928): View more from Arizona

  This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.

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• (310): View more from California

  When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."

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  These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed

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• (415): View more from California

  The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.

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• (510): View more from California

  Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment

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