just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
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this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
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Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??