if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
