My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
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What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
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no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...