I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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