Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
