dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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