Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
she told me i tasted like america
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
