In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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