So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
