You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
