I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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