Screwed.edu
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
