glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
