You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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