he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Randomize
