I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Never joke about your clitoris.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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