Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize