White coat. Heels.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
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Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
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I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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