Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
