she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
