a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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