This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
