But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
