Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
