U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
