sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
