you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
