Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
