I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
