Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
