Will you blow on my dice?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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