so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
