Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
