she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
As shirtless as possible
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
