yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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