ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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