if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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