Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
